Neon Green
by SwordStitcher
Summary: Day to day in Arkham City. It's always interesting.
1. Crane

A/N: This series is mainly the silly one-shots and scenes I get that are just too damn many to get their own stories. So they come here! I have so many I just need to get rid of them. Some will be silly, some will be serious, some will probably OOC (but hopefully not) and some will be OOT. But all of them are going to be a little slice of Arkham City. :)

I should probably warn you guys, there's at least one curse per chapter. I dunno how that happened...

Lets kick things off with a point of view from someone who isn't Switch, just for a change. Say hello to Doctor Jonathan Crane, dead man walking!

Honestly? This entire thing was just an excuse to write Scarecrow and see Riddler faceplant a table. *shrug*

_Disclaimer: Too poor to buy the rights, too poor to sue._

* * *

The boat was dark, and dingy and not entirely water-proof. The only light came from the UV glow lamps in the tanks of insects. Scarecrow hated those things. Jonathan needed them, although, perhaps not for much longer.

Everyone had assumed he was dead after the incident with Killer croc. Scarred, certainly. He had five still healing tears in his shoulder from Croc, unwilling to let go when they tumbled into the water.

Only two people actually knew he was alive. Riddler and Switch. It had been Riddler who'd set him up on the boat and made an encryption program to keep prying, curious eyes out of his afterlife.

He'd also given him a new phone. Why a dead man needed a phone, he didn't know but he'd kept it anyway.

Jonathan was testing a new, more potent drug to tackle Batman. This time he had to succumb. He had to give in to fear. He would either break the Bat, or outright kill him and at the minute, he really didn't know which he'd prefer more.

All the insects reacted as soon as they contacted the gas; they were literally scared to death. They experienced so much stress their hearts ceased to function in the chaos of brain activity, the signals just weren't getting through.

His human subject was struggling against his bonds as Jonathan readied the needle of hell.

In one swift move, he'd pushed the subject's head to one side and was ready to plunge the needle into his neck when he heard the phone vibrating across the counter.

'Hello?' He answered a little cautiously as he lowered the needle onto the counter.

'Doctor Crane?'

_**That bitch?**_

_Why was she calling?_

He could hear banging and crashing going on in the background, shouts and yelling. Obviously something was going on.

_**She sounds scared, Jonny.**_

_No shit._

_**I like it.**_

_Shut up while I try to work out what is going on._

'Switch, is everything alright?'

'N-No. Actually could you pay a visit? I…I wouldn't usually ask but you're Edward's friend-'

_**What's little Eddie done now?**_

_How am I supposed to know that?_

_**We're kind of in the middle of something here, you know.**_

Jonathan glanced over to his sweating and panting test subject. The ropes were sturdy and he was sure of his knots but still, he didn't want to lose him just yet.

'Please Scarecrow?'

_**Fuck. Fine. See what the bitch is terrified of.**_

'Alright. What's wrong?'

'He's been up for three days straight, he won't sleep, he's flipping his shit.'

Over the phone he could hear Edward pacing from room to room screaming for her. He then realised the sounds of breathing were intense.

'Are you hiding in a cupboard, Switch?'

_**Hah. She really is pissing herself isn't she? I have to see this.**_

Jonathan rolled his eyes.

'No…' Switch muttered. It sounded like a lie.

'I'll be there soon.'

'Thank you.' She sounded absolutely relieved.

When he arrived, the place looked trashed. Switch allowed him in and he had to admire the destruction. 'What the hell happened?'

'He cut himself while working.' She mumbled.

_**Fucking hell. **_Scarecrow seemed in awe.

'He's been up for three days?' Jonathan sighed. 'Put the kettle on.'

Switch gave him a look that clearly said she thought tea was not going to be enough but she obeyed the command without question.

'Edward.' He called as he pulled the scarf and coat from his shoulders.

_**I can always knock him out.**_

_We are not slugging him. _

_**Why not?**_

_The man has a chin like an anvil. Besides, there are easier ways. _

_**Pussy.**_

He found him in the monitor room, his hair was a mess, his tie was gone, and his shirt had that slept in look.

It was obvious he hadn't been taking care of himself. He hadn't shaved and had quite the homeless growth, he stank of sweat and his eyes had bags you could pack.

'Edward.' He sighed.

The man glanced up from the crude wiring he was playing with and fought to recognise him. 'Jon. What're you doing here?'

Telling him Switch had called would just get him kicked out. But Jonathan had a plan.

_**It's a pussy plan. **_

_Shut up._

_**Just sayin'**_

'Came by for a catch up.' He answered cheerily. 'Switch has the kettle on. We're expecting you downstairs.'

And with that he retreated before Nigma's temper broke again.

Switch was just pouring the tea when he entered and pulled a vial from his pocket. Unceremoniously, he dumped it into a cup and stirred industriously.

'What is that?' She asked.

_**Nosy cow. **_

He couldn't disagree with that.

'You'll see.'

He put the cup down on the tray and carried it out of the kitchen as Edward poured himself into a chair.

He really did look like hell. Jonathan handed him the laced tea and handed Switch another cup, he took the final one.

Hesitantly, Edward picked it up and gulped it down as Switch sipped on hers and watched him.

Riddler drained the cup and laid it down. For a few minutes nothing happened and then he saw it, the first hints of the drug kicking into his system.

With a crash, Nigma face-planted into the table and began snoring.

'Well, that wasn't so hard.'

_**It wasn't fun either, Jonny. Well, seeing that dick fall face first into the table was.**_

_It can't always be fun._

Jonathan turned his attention to Switch. 'You should know to handle his insomnia better.' Jonathan scolded. 'Don't ever let him get like that again.'

'Sorry…'

'This is a one-time favour.' He warned her.

'What did you give him?'

Jonathan pulled a bottle from his pocket and slapped it on the table.

'Benzodiazepine.' She read.

'Tranquilizer.' He clarified.

He turned to look at the sleeping man and totally failed to notice her slide the bottle into her pocket.

_**Hey, hey Jonny! She's stealing our meds now.**_

_I'm not surprised. I was going to give it to her anyway. _

_**You're such a fucking philanthropist. **_

'Can you help me get him into-'

'No.'

_**We're not a fucking charity.**_

_Shush._

He finished his tea as she hauled Nigma out of the room.


	2. Sorry

A/N: SInce Bat-teen's been so nice R&Ring everything of mine (and I totally appreciate that) I decided what the hell. Here's my personal favourite one-shot.

Do not ever mention Nigma's daddy issues. **Ever. **

_Blahblahblah Disclaimer!_

* * *

It started innocently enough, with a box of cereal. The parcel drops were a mad rush to grab what you could and Riddler generally didn't even try, he stole his food from someone else.

Usually there was more than one of the same thing.

Their current stocks were dwindling and for the past few days, Switch had been living off Gotham Goodies, an apparently popular brand of breakfast cereal.

It had only been as she reached the bottom that she discovered the all too sugary cereal came with a prize.

It was a mini Batman action figure. She looked back at the box and noticed the advert for them at the bottom of the pack. _'Collect Batman and all the evil villains!'_

She stared at it for some time before she recalled they had another box of Gotham Goodies in storage.

Curiosity abounded and she found herself pulling cardboard boxes marked PROVISIONS from the pallet and inspecting them until she found the other box of cereal.

This one was a little Riddler with painted question mark suit.

She knew just what to do with them.

'_You'll never catch me, Batman! I'm Riddler! I'm a pompous twit with a massive ego and daddy issues!' _Switch had to laugh to herself as she made mini Riddler dance backwards and forwards across the keyboards of the monitor room.

'_Riddler, I am the night. I'm going to beat on you just cause I can and I'm going to call it justice!' _Mini Batman leapt up and kicked mini Riddler to the floor. _'Once again justice is served!' _

She laughed and spun around; figures in hand and suddenly saw the shadow in the doorway. Her smirk fell. 'Oh fuck…'

* * *

'Boss, no!' She shrieked. 'I'm Sorry! I'm _**Sorry**_!'

He held her by the ankle, her head dangled over the edge of the balcony; a clear drop to the bare concrete only a floor below.

'I really don't believe you. An ego, you said?'

'I didn't mean it!' She wailed. 'Put me down!'

Riddler made a move to let go and she screamed. 'What else was there?' He wondered idly. _**'Daddy issues?' **_He hissed.

She was crying, actually crying. He had a good mind to throw her off anyway but it would only be him to clean up the mess.

'Tell me again, Switch. Who has the ego?'


	3. Piñata

A/N: *Braveheart voice* There may come a day when Two-Face will skin us alive – _**But it is not this day!**_

_Disclaimers n'all._

* * *

Sometimes, bad things happen for the most random of reasons to the nicest people.

Ok, she was the assistant to a psycho but she was pretty nice…

Alright she wasn't evil. So it seemed hardly fair that a series of almost random events had led to this point.

Being upside down was making her queasy.

The rope around her wrists was itchy.

The rope around her ankles was too tight.

Two-Face was grandstanding around the courtroom. She tried to spare some sympathy and listen in.

'We've got one of the thieves! The Cat may have escaped with Batman, but we doubt Riddler will spare any effort to come and collect his little protégé.'

Finally, someone gets it. _Not_ his bitch. Working _for_, not _with_.

The thugs were getting antsy. Bats and knives were being waved around.

Of course Nigma would have sent her to get some highly important documents Paxton had risked his hide to pull from the courthouse records and of course a patrol of Two-Face thugs would have spotted them. They seemed to believe that Paxton had cornered her and were hailing him a hero.

She felt the cold steel of a gun against her temple and she frowned.

He was smirking at her. Smirking.

_Where are you Paxton you little fuck-_

Her phone, on the judge's desk began to trill to the Macarena.

_Finally._

She waited until all eyes were on the dancing phone before she arched her back and pulled the hidden knife from her boot. It took seconds to slice through the bonds of her wrists.

She heard Two-Face move over to the desk and answer the phone. Swiftly she reached up and grabbed the rope that was being used to dangle her from the rafters and began to crawl up into the roof.

'-I'm sorry, she isn't available at the moment-'

'Boss!' On of the thugs muttered urgently.

'Shut-up. We're in the middle of a conversation!' Two-Face answered.

'Boss she's-'

Two-Face shot him and went back to the caller as the unlucky henchman collapsed and bled out on the floor.

Switch pulled herself up and onto the old but still solid rafter beam before she slit the bonds on her legs.

'What do you mean I haven't got a bargaining chip? I have your-'

He turned towards the podium and found only empty rope. His eyes travelled the length of it and caught sight of her standing on the rafter.

_Time to go._

She ran along the length of beam, dropped onto the balcony and made it into the corridor as she heard Dent's howl of anger ringing out behind her.

Give it thirty seconds since discovery-

She heard the phone hit wall and then the roar of explosives as the sensitive information of her phone was literally destroyed.

That had been what Paxton was taking so long to do.

_I loved that phone. _She thought miserably.

Dent was screaming at his lackeys to find her, but she was already going to be gone. There was Paxton at the doors to the outer balcony. All she needed to do was swing down on a tattered banner and she was home free. They'd never catch her in the streets.

She had just enough time, as she blew past him, to grab the files and then she was up and over the balcony.

Never again. She was never doing anything around Park Row again.


	4. Hangover

A/N: Switch is a lightweight, Nigma's a dick. *shrug* She really should know better by now.

* * *

'Nnngh, go away…' Switch flapped an arm at whatever was prodding her. It dropped like a stone when the prodding stopped and she found herself happily drifting back into sleep when it started again.

'I said fuck off!' The hand flapped a little more violently.

The poking stopped again.

Her arm shot out and grabbed the offending article as it entered her reach for another go. It was long and thin and it yanked her out of bed when it was pulled back sharply.

She lay on the freezing floor and groaned as she slowly came back to life.

She felt awful. Like ready to die awful.

An eye blearily opened and looked up to see who her assailant was.

'Rise and shine.' He was grinning.

What had she done last night? There had been poker and beer…Then strip poker and more beer…After that everything got kind of confusing.

'Hungover?' Riddler gloated.

She summoned up enough energy to give him a withering look. 'Leave me alone to die.' She groaned helplessly and tried to haul herself back into bed.

The cane came down on her fingers. She screamed and pulled her hand to her chest. 'Psycho!' She spat as the sudden noise provoked a ripple of pain in her head.

'You got yourself into this position.' Nigma mocked her. 'You deal with the consequences.'

Switch muttered some choice words.

'Rise and shine.' The cane twirled happily. 'I have some more errands for you to run.'

'Oh Jesus…' That was all she needed a jaunt around the roofs of Arkham City with a killer hangover.

She could already taste the projectile vomiting.

As if on cue, her stomach lurched alarmingly and she groaned.

She was never drinking with Harley and Ivy again. The only happy thought she had was that at least they'd be waking up the same way-

Her phone vibrated from under the bed. Her hand scrabbled to catch it.

' 'Lo?'

'Switchy! How ya feelin'? I'm feelin' awesome! We had a tona' fun last night! Same time next week?'

Harley's voice was too chipper and way too loud for her right now. Switch held the phone an arms length from her ear and groaned louder.

Nigma was smirking at her as he listened in to the conversation. No doubt he had a witty and scathing phrase on his tongue but she'd rather jump off a roof than hear his barbed comments right now. She held up a finger.

'Don't even.' She warned him.

* * *

Am I doing these things daily now? It seems like it and I _still_ have a ton of stuff.


	5. In sickness and in stealth

A/N: Ah the joys of being sick. Both physically and mentally. She really should tone down that enjoyment but she _really did_ have to shoot him.

* * *

'Why'd he have to yell at me Pax?'

'I dunno man, Riddler ain't feelin' too good.'

'I only asked him if he'd beaten Batman yet…'

'Kenny, I told ya I don't fuckin' know.'

Switch was mad to start with but Kenny just wasn't going to shut up about Nigma's boo-boo.

She was slowly being wound up.

First, Riddler caught the flu.

Then, he gave it to her.

Then he sent her to watch Wonder Tower with Bevis and Butthead.

Now Butthead was complaining about everything from the weather to Nigma's attitude when he kicked them out to do this little job.

For gods sakes it was sleeting. She was cold, wet and fluish. _I bet Nigma's rigged up all the heaters and hogged the blankets for himself. _She thought miserably. All she had to look forward to was getting dry at some point. Possibly next summer.

She knew her nose was cherry red and she made little honking noises when she tried to breathe through it (with accompanying snot bubbles). Her joints ached and she thought cynically that the only way she was going to get warm was to be set on fire. Although she was probably too damp to do much more than smoulder right now.

The weather showed no sign of letting up so they were just going to have to put up with it.

'I mean, it wasn't as if I said anything wrong, you know?' Switch pulled the binoculars from her eyes and turned to glare at Kenny. Paxton must have known she was entertaining the idea of murder and shook his head gently.

She wanted to. So badly. His voice was just that pitch of annoying that irritated her headache further.

'How much longer are we going to be here?' Kenny moaned. For a Joker thug he sure did whinge an awful lot. Switch was highly surprised Joker hadn't shot him yet.

'We gotta track the shipments that are going in.' Pax muttered.

'I thought he had webcams everywhere?' Kenny grunted. 'Why can't he just watch from there?'

'The weather's too bad dipshit.' Pax sighed.

'But it's just so cold.' Kenny shivered. 'Imma come down with something if I'm out here much longer.'

That did it. Switch wasn't prepared to listen to him moan he was going to catch something when she felt like shit and was still in the driving sleet.

She pulled her pistol from her hip and shot him in the knee. Kenny screamed and flailed; slipped on the ice that coated the roof they were camped on and slid over the edge.

She laughed as the wind swallowed his last screams. Paxton however was uncomfortable.

'Switch…' He started.

'I don't want to hear it.' She muttered and turned back to watching the tower.

'Did you have to shoot him?'

'Yes.' She defended. 'I definitely had to shoot him.'


	6. Livewire

A/N: For those if you unaware, this takes place just after Hatter chapter of Trophies.

Switch has a rather twisted sense of humour. This is one of her favourite games.

* * *

Switch was used to moving, constantly. There was always something Nigma needed or wanted; always an errand to run, a person to harass.

After Hatter had abducted her to play the part of a March Hare in whatever sick fantasy he was currently riding, Switch was forced to take a sabbatical from Trophy duty.

She'd had to take a sabbatical because Nigma had beaten the shit out of her to get the mind control mask off her face.

It was the second time Switch had been caught off guard by Hatter, the first, at the asylum, had resulted in three broken fingers and a narrowly avoided scalding.

She was laid up in the monitor room while Nigma was forced to set up his own operations.

At first, it felt like hell, watching what everyone else did while she had at least one patch of every limb swathed in bandages.

But then she began to see it as fun. She liked to refer to it as Big Brother Watching.

The current saga was one she'd dubbed 'When Harry met Sally's other boyfriend.'

Since the arrival of The Bat, this weeks game of Political Prisoner- Truth or dead? Had been postponed. She liked that show, damn it.

Of course, if nothing interesting was going on, and Riddler had hardly encouraged this, she could always play a little game called 'Livewire'

When they'd decided to set up here, Nigma had outlined some of the defensive aspects of the place, and that included wiring the chain-link fences up to a generator that could be activated at the push of a button.

Ever since the whole Catwoman incident, Two-Face was after their hides and there was always at least one or two keen lads wandering around the neighbourhood, just looking for them or any clues to their hideout.

Switch liked to mock them by waiting for an unsuspecting felon to lean against the fence, and then electrify it.

The spasms of the muscles kept him rigid as he died and the best part was occasionally, one of his friends would walk by, see the frying man, walk towards him and just touch the corpse, and then he would be part of it too. Two became three, three became four.

The biggest livewire she'd ever made had been seven and she was proud of that record.

But she couldn't play tonight. Riddler was due back any moment and he hated seeing dead bodies around the perimeter.

Today, Big Brother was watching Sally's other boyfriend get shanked to death. Which was hardly an original way to kill a rival lover, now is it?

She sighed and changed the channel.

Oh goodie, Amusement Mile massacre was on. That was always fun.


	7. Clowns

A/N: Switch has an irrational fear of clowns. Well...Not all clowns, just one. P.S: Short update is short.

* * *

'I am not seeing that clown freak!'

Riddler sighed as Mannie and Zowie, with a leg each, were trying to gently pry her from the beam without breaking anything.

'I have a business meeting and you're making me late. Will you just get over that irrational fear of yours?' He snapped.

'Irrational?!' She shrieked. 'He is a psychopath in make-up!'

'I will shoot you.' Nigma threatened.

'It's better than whatever the clown would do to me!' She retorted.

Nigma sighed and tapped his cane, obviously only just holding on to his patience. 'You really are trying me, Switch.'

'Shoot me, I dare you!' She snapped.

Riddler pulled a pistol from inside his jacket and shot the beam above her head, but only just above it. Switch screamed and involuntarily let go. Mannie and Zowie took the opportunity to pull her away from the beam.

Her fingers left marks in the grime of the floorboards as they dragged her all but kicking and screaming from the room.

Nigma followed behind them leisurely as Switch cussed him out.


	8. Drinking

A/N: This one's a prompt by Bat-Teen, she wanted to see Riddler drunk/hungover. This isn't a whole lot of riddles being hungover as opposed to drunk ranting. I must admit, for me, this is a controversial piece. I'm not sure if I should love it or hate it. You guys decide.

* * *

Today was a special day. Normally, Edward Nigma despised alcohol. He refused to ingest anything that would impair his cognitive abilities. But for one day, every year, he went out of his way to get shitfaced. He drank and drank until he passed out.

Switch had been a participant of this little ritual twice over and she knew what to expect.

She didn't try to stop him, because she understood exactly why he needed to do it, but in the interests of safety she needed to be around to look after him once he'd succeeded in blotting out the entire day.

Dealing with a drunken psychopath wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind when she'd signed on to team Riddler, but she did it anyway.

She fielded his calls and ordered the thugs around as he sat and drank and stared at the photograph in his hand with a scowl.

'No Pax, I am not putting him on.' Switch snarled into the mobile. She shot a look towards Nigma who was playing with the glass, a look of morose sadness on his face.

'Why can't I okay this with him?' Paxton demanded.

'Do you know what day it is?' She asked.

'Some time in January.' Paxton muttered.

'It's the one day of the year when Riddler is unavailable.' She closed the phone on him and sighed.

He was halfway through a bottle of rum; the sadness would flip to anger when he reached the end of it and that was where the trouble was.

'Switch?'

She looked up. He was still playing with the glass but his attention had drifted back to the cracked Polaroid in his hands.

'Yes?' She answered warily.

'What was your father like?' He asked.

'He was a self-serving womaniser.' Switch muttered as she pulled herself to the keyboards and began sifting through the latest intelligence to direct it to the most appropriate folder.

Nigma snorted. 'Typical.'

Switch knew better than to fill the silence that followed. In no way were they getting onto the subject of his father. The last time she'd inadvertently encouraged _that_, he'd spent most of the night threatening to terrorize Gotham, live on TV and ranted most of the time about fathers.

Switch had to go back to the studio the next day and shoot a few people. She burned every copy of that live interview she could.

She knew better now. She needed to contain him to the hideout. By the time she found him after the last escape, the damage had already been done and she'd been forced to shoot some well loved talk show hosts.

'My father wasn't a supportive man.'

Oh god she'd set him off. She didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to hear the story of how Edward Nashton became Edward Nigma who then became The Riddler. It was a story with no happy ending, just a whole lot of misery.

This entire pantomime of drinking was all over his father and the day he finally did something Edward had wanted him to do for a while. He died. She wasn't sure if Nigma had killed him or it was an accident and she wasn't going to ask, especially not today.

'Moron he used to call me. Idiot. Cheater.' He scowled at his drink.

'Drink up Edward.' Switch muttered. 'We're drinking to forget after all.'

'Mmmh' He sighed and took a gulp out of his glass. 'Why couldn't he have supported me in anything? Not once did he tell me I did well, that I made him proud.'

Switch closed her eyes and prayed not to have another Saturday Night Live fiasco. God knows they had the technology in this room to hijack more than one network.

'I don't know Edward.' Switch sighed. 'Why did my dad decide to cheat?'

'Fathers, Switch. They're useless and incompetent.' He drank off his tumbler and reached for the bottle.

This was going better than last time at least, it was hard to gauge his mood and respond in the manner that was appropriate.

He was drinking directly from the bottle now; it wasn't going to be long.

'They're all the same.' He spat. 'Self-serving, uncaring, fools who live to exert dictatorship over their families.'

'You've got that right.' She muttered. She was actually amazed he could articulate the words exert and dictatorship. He never normally drank so his tolerance had to be low, but apart from a morose need to talk about the many failures of his childhood, he seemed fine. He could pass for sober, even though Switch knew he must be blitzed by now.

Maybe for once, this wasn't going to be difficult.

'Lets hijack a TV show and terrorise them a little.'

'What? NO!'

On second thought- this was definitely going to be the Saturday Night Live fiasco all over again.

* * *

Switch woke to a groan, but it wasn't from her, for once. She was on the floor, propped against a bed leg in Nigma's room. She heard the clink of the handcuffs as his arm moved uncertainly.

All she wanted to do was crawl into her own bed and sleep. She had a knot in her back that was not going to shift after a night against a hard bedpost. She twisted and stretched the muscles in an attempt to get rid of the stiffness nonetheless. It had been a long night of fighting for her that had extended well into the early morning.

'Switch?' He sounded slurred and dehydrated but a lot more sober than he had been a few hours ago.

'Glass of water by your bed.' She grunted and closed her eyes. 'Caffine pills next to that. Bucket on the floor.'

She heard the glug of water and the slight choke as he forced the pills down. 'What happened last night?'

'The usual.' She sighed.

He must have had a banging hangover; he didn't bother to chastise her for being vague.

'Why am I handcuffed to the bed?' He asked carefully.

'You tried to hijack the Vicki Vale show again.' She answered. 'Kept trying to sneak out when I was sleeping so I handcuffed you to the bed.'

Her phone rang to the Macarena from her pocket and Nigma groaned. He attempted to block the noise by burrowing under his pillow but it did no good.

Yes indeed. They both regretted his decision the next morning.


	9. Friends

A/N: Mashup! Say hello to Bat-Teen's Jester. Providing some much needed help for Switch and a massive headache for Riddler. This is my take on their meeting. I hope she acts exactly as she's meant to Batty!

* * *

This wasn't good. Switch thought of herself as more of an intellectual than a fighter and sure, she got into a scrap or two over the years with some absolutely crazy people, but never this many.

Dent had been a busy little boy now hadn't he? Hiring a dozen men to corner and beat Nigma's hideout out of her. Now there was a man who could delegate.

She only had the pistol and her emergency knife. They had machetes and bats.

They'd surrounded her with a wall of weapons.

She was screwed.

'So, you going to tell us now, or after we do you in?'

'Gentlemen, how am I going to tell you where he is if you "Do me in"? She snorted.

That caused some confusion and eventual anger.

Weapons were being brandished. _Oh Switch, you had to open you damn mouth and give them a better reason to kill you. _She cursed herself for being as egotistical as Nigma and considered her options. There weren't many.

'We're going to hack off yer knees, then see if you want to talk.'

The circle closed in and she raised the gun but kept the knife close to her chest.

_Damn Switch, this wasn't a bright thing to get yourself into._

With a gentle breeze, she suddenly realised she had someone behind her, facing the people she couldn't see. She turned to look at her saviour and realised it was someone almost her own age. Bright green hair tickled her nose.

'Hi.' Her new friend grinned.

'Hi…' Switch muttered in confusion.

She noticed that the girl had also brought a gun to a knife fight and felt better about her own misgivings.

They stood back to back as the thugs slowed, wary of this new intruder and why she would put her life on the line for someone who was obviously going to get creamed.

'Hey kid, get out of the way!'

'Make me.' She was confident, that was for sure. She was almost laughing as she provoked them.

'Fuck, fine. It's your funeral.'

Surprisingly, they worked well. Both women had the same idea. They slid past each other as they fired and turned around.

Two down and they were back to back again.

It seemed this caused some consternation among the remaining hired help.

'Hey, Neon.' Switch muttered.

'Yeah smart mouth?' She shot back.

'You got a plan here or…?'

The woman snorted. 'Plan? I really wasn't expecting to help.'

'Thought not.' Switch sighed.

The thugs were closing in the gaps left by their dead comrades, now they seemed more enraged than ever.

'Well…Have you?' Neon asked aggressively.

Switch ducked a bat and sliced across it's owners face. He backed away howling in agony.

'….No.' Switch admitted.

'Just wing it!'

After that it became a melee of limbs and weapons and absolute terror.

Once the twelve had been reduced to three, they ran for it, which left Switch and her new friend.

Switch turned her gun on the stranger and noted that she had turned hers onto Switch. 'Well.' Switch muttered. 'Thanks for the help I guess.'

'You're welcome.' The girl replied.

What Switch had believed to be hair extensions was actually a full head of bright green hair cut roughly mid shoulder.

She wasn't wearing anything affiliated with a gang, but it was all colourful and all slightly odd.

She could see her new friend was making notations of her own.

The guns however, never lowered. This was Arkham City after all.

'So why did you help me?' Switch asked.

'You didn't want the help?' She grinned.

'I just like to be clear on motives.' Switch answered grin with a grin. 'Everyone's got ulterior motives in Arkham City.'

'Not many women around here.' She shrugged and lowered the gun.

Without the immediate threat of being shot, Switch lowered her own and they approached each other.

'The name's Jester,' Neon extended a bloody hand.

Switch took it carefully. 'Dead Switch.' She replied.

'Ah, you're the one working for Eddie.' Jester gave her a knowing wink. 'Bit of a tough gig.'

Switch snorted. _Eddie?_ She guessed that gossip got around. Though generally the policy for gossip was don't ask, don't tell, don't believe.

A shot rang the length of the street and she stumbled from the impact, felt the blood splatter up her face. She lost the power to her arm and her emergency knife slipped from her slick fingers as blood coursed down her sleeve.

Her other hand dropped the gun on reflex and clamped her fingers around her sodden shoulder in alarm.

The thugs were back, this time with some Two-Face gang members.

_Shit. _

Jester snatched up her fallen weapons and barked an order. 'Run!'

That was fine with Switch.

They jinked in and out of alleys and made use of some of the delightfully difficult shortcuts Switch knew about and one or two Jester had that even she didn't know of. Eventually, the sounds of angry retribution fell away and they stopped to breathe.

Switch's whole back was now claret with blood and she was beginning to feel the effects. She couldn't focus and felt unsettlingly dizzy.

'We need to get you home and fixed up. Red really isn't your colour.' Jester joked. Switch barked a breathless laugh.

Take a total stranger to the hideout? She'd rather stay shot than deal with Riddler's anger.

'No, I can make it.' She grit out as she explored the wound. 'It's only around the corner.'

'You're not going anywhere like that. You look like you're going to pass out.'

She ducked under her. One arm went around her waist, the other held Switch's arm across her shoulder.

Awkwardly, they hobbled towards the hideout and with a shaking hand; Switch opened the emergency control box and typed in her password.

The electrified fence shut off and Jester shrugged her up the back stairs and into the warehouse.

She could hear Riddler tinkering upstairs. Jester dumped her into a chair. If she'd expected her to either keep her visit unannounced or at least, announce it cautiously, Switch was wrong.

Jester took a deep breath and screamed at the top of her lungs. _'EDDIE!'_

There was a crash from upstairs which caused Switch to wince. A door slammed open and Nigma stepped out onto the balcony.

'Who the hell let you-' His eyes alighted onto Switch and they narrowed.

'Is that any way to say hi to your best friend Eddie? Don't tell me you still want to kill me?'

'I loved that suit.' He snarled.

'It was a year ago!' She wailed.

'It was bright pink.' He pointed out.

'Well you weren't going to fall for anything else.' Jester replied and folded her arms.

'Hello. Bleeding to death.' Switch gasped. Her whole hand was now red with her own blood as she tried to pinch the wound closed. She was ignored as they began to argue.

'You scribbled in my crossword!'

'You greased up the entire corridor and locked me in a cupboard!'

'You drew on my _face_.' He hissed.

'It came off eventually.' She pouted. 'Besides, you glued my hands to my hair!'

They only stopped when Switch went face first into the table. She'd passed out, as predicted.

* * *

Switch woke in bed. Her arm was in a sling and she felt copious bandages underneath that.

'Good morning.'

Her head turned and against all probability, that hurt. Jester was leant against the door with a wide, mocking grin. She must have seen the confusion on Switch's face. 'I'm going to be hanging around for a while. Seeing as you've shattered your shoulder blade.'

'Awww f-' Switch groaned. She tried to sit up, but her arm twanged painfully and she was forced to lie back down.

'You're not going anywhere.' Jester laughed. 'I kinda felt bad for you know, the whole getting shot thing. I should have seen him. So to make up for it- I'm your new nursemaid.'

Her eyes flew open in alarm. _What?_

Switch tried to dive out of bed in an attempt to avoid the inevitable, but Jester must have known it was coming. She slammed her back into the bed and handcuffed her good hand to the frame.

'Just call me Nurse Jester.' She laughed and loaded a needle, much to Switch's horror. 'Now take your shot like a big girl. This'll make you very sleepy.'

Switch screamed.


	10. Gamer

A/N: Nigma's got mad skillz, yo. I'm not even sorry about this.

* * *

'And how does one play this game?' Riddler frowned at the screen as he tested the maneuvering capabilities of his character.

Switch watched from behind the doorframe in horrified fascination. He'd found her hidden game and had decoded the encryption protocols and now _he was talking to someone. _

This was a hitherto unknown event. She had no evidence to base his reaction on. She had no idea what he was going to do.

It was just a fun little first person shooter online for those rare moments when she had the monitor room to herself.

He'd hacked into her account for lords sakes.

He picked up the controller easily, but it was clear he wasn't a gamer; he held it loose and wrong.

Knowing Edward Nigma, she was about to get banned from the game server if she were lucky. He would either insult someone until they lost their cool or would lose it himself as he was thrashed.

Surprisingly, neither happened. When he finally died, he chuckled to himself and respawned. 'Such a simple game.'

'Switch, you get better or something?' A voice rippled through the speakers and she froze in horror.

She generally signed in with a fake E-mail address under the name Ne0n Green but there were some people who knew her name. They thought her job was cool. One of the players she regularly raided with just unknowingly ratted her out.

'Switch?' Nigma looked confused. 'You're not dealing with her, boy.'

'Oh…Shit…' The speakers blurted. He must have worked out who was on the other end. 'Mister R-Riddler sir….'

'How about a riddle?' He mocked. 'A harvest sown and reaped on the same day, in an unplowed field, which increases without growing, remains whole though it is eaten. Within and without, is useless and yet the staple of nations. What am I?'

'Erm..I don't know sir.'

'Of course you don't. You're too underdeveloped.' Nigma quipped. _Oh god she was never going to be able to talk to him again._

'It's war you ignorant buffoon.' He chuckled. 'Switch, how do you stand to play with these people?'

Switch jumped and crashed into the wall with a curse. He knew she was there. God damn it how did he always know?! Her head came around the corner slowly, wary of anything that might separate it from her shoulders. 'I can explain why that's on the server.'

'I would love to hear your explanation, but no doubt it will be a dull and predictable one.' Nigma sighed.

'Probably.' She agreed.

'You will be seen to later.' He warned her. 'But first- How do you kill this…Robot?'

'Oh that's easy.' Switch advanced into the room. 'You want to scan for weakness and use the appropriate gadget when prompted but you've got to be careful of…the...'

Nigma chuckled darkly as he tore the boss to shreds and set a new defeat record. He'd beaten her last record by a whole minute and he'd only been playing for half an hour.

'Dull.' He announced as he lowered the controller and turned to face her.

She couldn't think of anything to say. She didn't even think there was anything to say. Well, just one thing.

'Please tell me you'll do that in the raid next week.' She said in awe.


	11. Shocking

A/N:_ This_ is how you test modifications, ladies and gentlemen, on your dim-witted but resilient lackey.

* * *

'Switch!' The tone was sickly sweet and not like Riddler at all. Switch knew enough of that tone to feel a shiver of fear run down her spine.

She entered the main warehouse cautiously and found him at the table, apparently waiting for her. Various traps and triggers were spread the length of the stained, chipped wood in various stages of assembly, but he held nothing in his hands.

She was wary. 'You shouted for me?'

'Move two feet to the right.'

Switch complied.

'Move one step forward.'

'Riddler, what-'

'_Step forward.'_ His tone changed somewhat, became darker, more like him. Against all common sense and survival instinct, she took that last step.

She could hear something charging. Which was odd-

'How about a riddle? _**I drift forever with the current and flows to your everyday life. I make living easy but I am good at killing people too. What am I?**_'

What was he- Oh. Oh _shit._ She made a move to get off the hidden pad he'd instructed her to stand on but the cells had charged.

She felt her limbs seize up almost instantly, sparks danced behind her eyes and she was pretty sure she lost all sense of bowel control. The electricity that tore through her muscles felt like burning agony and she couldn't breathe. The spasms held her lungs from expanding. Finally, mercifully, he shut it down.

Switch dropped to the floor and groaned. 'What'd I do?' She slurred.

'Nothing.' He seemed smug with himself. 'I just needed to test my design.'

Switch managed to roll onto her back and gulped air. She felt boneless; everything was slack and pins and needles tingled across her body.

'Oh stop complaining.' Nigma snapped at her obvious discomfort. 'It's not as if the voltage was fatal.'

'Why couldn't you have tested it on Paxton? Or Mannie? Or Zowie?' She groaned.

'I need them' He replied.

The feeling was returning to her limbs and her tingling fingers wanted nothing more than to be around Edward Nigma's throat.

'Where did you get the plans for an electric floor?!' She demanded.

'You got the plans for me. From our dear mayor Sharp.'

Of course. The electric floor he had installed in the Intensive Treatment wing.

'I made some adjustments I needed to test.' He waggled the remote at her smugly.

'Well it works; I think I peed myself…' She remarked. He ignored her, instead choosing to tinker with the remote some more.

She struggled to her feet and sniffed. Everything smelled like burning hair; no, she smelled like burning hair.

Honestly, was it too much to ask to go one day without something being done to her?


	12. Iceberg

A/N: Last one, at least for now. Switch likes the iceberg because- No clowns.

* * *

Of all the territories, the GCPD, the Steel Mill, the Courthouse…Penguin had the nicest place of all.

The museum and the train station.

Switch liked the station. It was full of stained glass and lead, old posters and plenty of nooks and crannies. She should know, she's visited a lot of them in her endless pursuit of hiding Trophies.

But today isn't about Trophies, it was about politics.

Riddler and Penguin had some things to talk about and like any good delegation; Switch, Mannie and Zowie were forced to go along.

Cobblepot had holed himself up in the Iceberg Lounge and insisted on doing all his dealings there, like he was only going to leave when they pried his cold dead hands from the doorframe.

That was alright though; the Iceberg had always been a friend to her in the past and it had a free bar while they waited for business to conclude.

The only problem was his thugs. They may have been some of the better fighters in the city, but they were still malicious perverts.

She just wanted to drink alone for gods sakes.

'Hey babe, how you doin'?' He obviously thought himself a smooth operator as he leaned on the bar and gave her a smirk.

'Not interested.' She sighed.

His demeanour changed when she shot him down. He became rougher. 'What's the matter bitch, you frigid?'

His hand slapped the wood by her drink and caused it to jump. Switch glanced at her spilled drink and then glared up at him.

Obviously he didn't see the murder in her eyes. 'Oh yeah baby, I hope you look like that when you've got your lips round-'

Mannie was the first to arrive after the shot. Switch was at ease, sipping a new drink as the body twitched on the floor. Half her face was splattered with blood, but that hardly seemed to bother her.

'What happened?' He asked.

'Guys these days just don't have any manners.' She replied innocently.


End file.
